To cook a Hot Pocket, put it inside its little crisping sleeve and shove it into your microwave. Nuke according to your directions (for the extremely lazy, just put two in the microwave and press the number 3 thrice to get 3:33), and wait a few minutes once they're cooked for the heat to disseminate throughout the filling. The odd part about Hot Pockets is that if you eat them right away, the outside will be blistering hot... and the inside will still be frozen. I suspect this has something to do with the crisping sleeve, but just letting itsettle for a few minutes seems to solve the problem.
This is obviously just a joke. But I thought Jensa and Elise would get a kick out of it! ;)
Jim Gaffigan gives more thorough instructions...